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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?